Excited. Nervous. Sad. Happy.

Excited: I am excited to start back to work this Sunday at the NICU at Cox.  It is exciting because I have been off for 12 weeks after having Kennedy and it will be great to see all of my co-workers again!  I am also excited to get back into a routine.  For those of you that know me I really like routines.  There are certain things that I can be spontaneous and "fly by the seat of my pants" about and there are certain things that I LOVE to have planned out.  Kennedy and I have had our own routine for the past 12 weeks and I am excited to make a new routine that includes work.  I am also excited that Kennedy will get to have plenty of one on one time with her daddy!  One of the many benefits of my job is that I have the ability to change shifts and schedules.  We have decided for the benefit of baby Kennedy that I will go from full time day shift to part time night shift.  That means I will be working 2 12 hour shifts a week from 7pm to 7am.  This is exciting for many reasons, but the best being that Kennedy will not have to go to daycare and will only be cared for by myself and my husband in our own home.  Stay away germs!  Of course this means the 2 days a week that I am taking care of her on very little sleep I will probably be hopped up on all kinds of caffeine...or at least the max that I am allowed while breastfeeding. 

Nervous: At the same time I am also nervous about going back to work.  I hope that I remember how to be a NICU nurse!  Three months is a long time to not do a job.  I am sure that it will all be fine once I get there and get back into it, but still....I feel like its the first day of school again. I am also slightly nervous to go back to the night shift.  I NEVER thought that I would EVER say that I wanted to go back to nights after working nights for almost a year and a half.  Never say never! 

Sad: I am sad that I won't be spending all of my time with my little baby girl.  I am sad that I am going back to work, because I am not going to lie....I could get used to this stay at home mom routine.  :-) NEVER thought I would say that either!  Yes, I have become "that" mother. 

Happy: I am so very happy that I will be a "part-time stay at home mom."